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I Renounce (feat. Joe Edwards)

by Matt Marshall

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1.
Omega 03:51
I wake up to the sound of sunlight in my room. And lie there in the thoughts that birth from the morning's womb. The smell of time that travels through the daylight has me feeling. Cos i've been thinking about the life that's been giving me meaning. Keeping me up as the sun sets in is the hope and the joy that this life brings me. In this terrible world, I would scream 'till I hurt for the people that couldn't speak a word Hate me, and consider me dead if I ever stop loving this life that I lead. I won't go on further, if I lose all the faith in the people around me. I cannot control the shaking in my limbs, as I tremble in the feeling. I cannot, I can never give into the pressures that demean me. In all this time that I've spent stuck inside my head, inside a world that has kept me holding my breath. Hold me close, hold me like no other human being. All the time i've spent looking through my thoughts, just to find there are things that are more important. I won't feel any pressure on me, don't let in the negativity. I won't live like I'm breaking my promises, I can live with a set of solid morals. Breath for me, we must live forever. Sing with me, this life we must weather.
2.
Isolated 02:56
In this hell, am I not meant to be? Living life so fucking recklessly. I’m still alive, living but suffering. I’m getting tired. This fire inside me is making life tough. This hate will burn me to the ground. Burn me to the ground. The sides of my skull are collapsing in on my mind. The life I lead is failing me. I cannot find the space to breathe. And in the long run I’ll live to see, the sun fall back down on me. I am so weak, as the sea crushes me. Don’t pity me, cos all my troubles are created by me. Hate me, I’m full of shit. Hate me, I’m sick of it. Hate me, take me away. Hate me, take my life away. My bones are so cold.
3.
This Agony 04:55
We’re all thinking about the way things used to be. But I trouble myself uselessly, as I try to remember the taste of love, because it hurts to think about anything else. Every part of my head is taken up with thoughts, of everything I ever was. Every day is a struggle in every way, as I try to forget the sound of your name. I can’t live in this atmosphere. I’m sick of breathing in air that makes me feel sick. All I can think of is leaving you behind. This isn’t acceptance on my burdened mind. My heavy eyes walk me through life, as I live in this world that only brings me strife. Fuck, I’m so sick of being me, everyone keeps crowding me. In a world that lacks intimacy, the air is so close to me. Your pain will linger, and all memory of you will fade as slowly as the smell on your pillow washes away. And through this happening the hairs on the back of my neck stand taller than towers at the thought of me waking up in an empty room every day. Though I’m not losing sleep, I walk around tired from the world I see around me. Everything reminds me of your warmth, your eyes, and the way your words fell from your mouth into my ears. I never thought that I would live like this. What's left in my bones is diminishing. I’m struggling to find anything worth keeping. Your memory will fade like this feeling, as I live, that will only bring me strife.
4.
Adrift 03:34
I’m lost in the middle of this mess, dragging me back down into oblivion. In my heart I can feel this pain, eating through my chest, and it's killing me. These rotting bones under my skin can’t hold me up much longer. But I’m holding onto everything in hope that I’ll recover. Looking back I find it’s not my fault, all things come to an end. In the time I’ve spent lost inside this world, there’s things I cannot amend. My mind is collapsing in on me, and I am so cold, every night is darker. If God is there, if he hears me, is he even listening? Does he even care? Pushing on I am so disheartened, life is cruel sometimes. I’ve been pushing and pushed to my wits end, I’m wasting life. Finding myself, finding my path has not been easy. I need help, I need ambition to start again. Don’t follow me, I can’t help you no more. I’ve lost all direction. So help me to relate to you like I did before. I can’t go on, I am too disconnected. The problems I thought I solved were never corrected. I can’t go on, I am too disconnected. I’m lost in the middle of this mess, dragging me back down into oblivion. In my heart I can feel this pain, eating through my chest, it's killing me.
5.
Hearteater 05:18
I can never forget all the memories in my head. For the man that i've become, and the times that we have shared. Just like a king beneath the surface of the shadows where we once lived. How can I thank you for the things that you gave? For the man that I have become, now you're not here as I bleed. And all that I hear in my skull is the ringing from my ears, and I treasure this, as the rest of me is numb. You wrote for me a song that will play forever in my life. And I know that it's too late but my fingers trace the surface of your life while you sleep. I can never forget all the memories in my head. For the man that i've become, and the times that we have shared. Just like a king beneath the surface of the shadows where we once lived How can I thank you? You gave everything to me. Although that you're gone, your memory still carries me. I know that its too late to say but the surface of your life while you sleep to the song of the man that you made of me. So I fall witness to the birth of the man as I relinquish myself to the person I am. Ill never live like I wanted to live, ill never give like I wanted to give and now the pages in my life is the pain in my mind it cuts me so fucking bad its like the edge of a knife

credits

released April 26, 2017

Written & Recorded by Matt Marshall
Mixed & Mastered by Matt Marshall
Vocals Written & Recorded by Joe Edwards
Artwork by Dead Crown Design

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Matt Marshall Burton Upon Trent, UK

Solo Musician from Burton-on-Trent, UK.

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